Note - 5

So at the age of 19, when that  BIG-BANG like feeling was still vibrating my mind, I started thinking something which from POV of every person is completely insane or even beyond insanity.

POWER - Only Power can bring change on this earth which can create perfectly happy and ordered society.  But what can a 19 year old poor village boy do to gain complete command over all the militaries on earth?  Finally I thought that after becoming IAS I will be inside power corridor of India. After understanding power mechanism, I might be able to think how to gain confidence of Army Chiefs. I was thinking something like this even after joining LIC. That is why I again started preparing for IAS. If I had failed in IAS,  I would have persuade same thing in Mumbai through some different way.

So I used to avoid people because of two things - (1) that mind - body disconnection and BIG-BANG like vibrating mind  (2) who knows,  if I had talked too much I might have revealed my mind to someone and it would have only increased my problems.

This is something I had NEVER talked to any human on earth.  Only after age of 33 I started realising that GOD already knew what I had thought during age of 18 - 26. And since 25 June 2016, I KNOW whatever I though or did it was already scripted by HIM.

By age of 30, my dream of making this world better place had completely died down. In utmost depression or frustration I again turned towards that Universal shock thing which had scared me horribly.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Note - 10

God - "I am weaker than bacteria and stronger than God ", remember you said it in your mind at 18? Me - Still you dared several times to insult me. God - You actually never sat on ground to beg. So your accommodation that I have made you beggar is baseless. Me - (Hands tied behind,  on knees, staring at Him in extreme anger) But you have forced me to beg. God - You walked to strangers just thrice in thousands of kilometres journey. It's true that they refused. Rest of the times I myself sent people to you or told you to walk in my nearby prayer places. I myself sent that man to help you to get out of Andaman when in your mind you had decided to die hungry. He spent five thousand rupees,  gave you food for 2 weeks. So your accusation that I am 99% evil is wrong. You almost never walked to strangers for help. In whole journey I didn't give you even minor illness. How do you know that 99% people are rude and evil? Me - Yes, I walked to strangers just three time
Read more

Note - 1

Right now I am in lodge in Igatpuri. On streets,  I can't even charge mobile. I feel like bombs are falling everywhere around me,  earth vibrating, smoke, dust everywhere and I am running in senseless direction because I just can't think due to hunger, sweat. (I am shouting again and again that this reactionless propulsion is all about NEW LAND - Planets, Asteroids and whole Universe. But that haraamzada God is making you believe that I have gone mad and He is fighting WAR with me.) I am seeing that my end is certain within few days  - unless HE interven - let me try to write somethings which until now only HE knows. As I am not going to stop music playing, my writing would look nonsense.  But it was always nonsense, you would say. In 1986 I ran away from VJTI Matunga telling my family that I want to be Pilot, not Engineer. But other reason was that being a village boy I simply caved in Mumbai.  There was one more reason which I will not type. (I am seeing that haraamzada G
Read more

Empyrean Walk Prologue

If I go to Kashmir and tell so-called bad people that enormous speed of this Empyrean (Reactionless Propulsion) device after impact on ground can generate more energy than nuke detonation and it is easy for even illiterate person to build such missiles, then certainly it is going to cause deaths of millions or even billions. I am not planning to do such act at this very moment. But I just wonder how long I can tolerate extreme stupidity of so-called good people and their extreme torture to me. I was always open for criticism, but so-called good people just don't talk. Now at least some of world's top most brains have accepted and published my paper (without any fee). http://www.rroij.com/open-access/investigation-of-propagation-of-compression-waves-in-materials-during-additionremoval-of-force.php?aid=87354 But dumbness of other so-called good people - right from my family members to people on internet - continues. Total dumbness of so-called good people is only forbidding progr
Read more