The Empyrean

God - So your departure is certain. Me - Yup, you may never allow this world to understand pains given by you to me whole life. In the end I have slept on roads hungry,  suffered insults all over India - from Jammu to Andman -, ate thrown food on road, smoked thrown cigarette and bidi buts on roads. You have created extremely rude world. There might be just less than one per cent good people. And it directly means you are 99% evil, dumb, rude. I don't think even if I succeed in creating empyrean or Bramhastra device, your evil and dumb nature will change. So suffering any more torture is pretty useless . Now why the hell you are trying to put me to sleep when I am criticising you? I have had full sleep.

God - You just said that you have gone through unbearable pains in whole life.  What pains? In your whole 49 year long life not a single time you were admitted in hospital,  not even for hour. In whole 49 year long life not a single time any doctor came to your doorstep because you were never so ill. Even now you don't have any physical disease, though you have wished many times some serious disease like cancer so that you can give that reason to commit suicide. In fact twice doctors has told you that you have malaria and typhoid. You didn't bother to take even single pill they had prescribed.  You are still alive. In contrary it's true that I have done these things with all the members of your family.  I have admitted them in hospital,  called doctors at home,  have given them this or that disease. But not to you. What pains you are talking about? Me - I mean psychological pains, you dumbf*** stupid.  Migraine... God - Migraine is not physical disease.  No doctor kno...

If I need money for invention  (now I don't) why I resigned from LIC?  Why don't I try to find job to earn money? What the hell is going on? I think during last few days I have figured out what was going on in this chaotic life. (1) On the eve of Rama Navami - 17 April 2005 - I discovered solution to Newton's third law in Hotel Staywel, Dadar. But from 26 December 2004 to 8 June 2005 I was surviving in Mumbai on Society loan of one lakh rupees. i was indeed in suicide mode. Somehow -accidentally - I discovered Solution to Newton's third law. So this invention was basically invented using public money. Yes, later on I repaid that loan but on 17 April 2005 that invention happened on public money. (2) On 25 June 2016 I woke up and decided to disclose this invention. (Why I remained silent for 11 years, it's different story). I asked my brother just eight hundred rupees and the horror show of typical Indian family began. I am sure that because of such aboriginal m...

I think in November 1999 I was strong enough even if that mind - body disconnection shock had again struck me. And anyway at the age of 30 I thought my life is over.  Years of excessive stress,  loneliness had pushed me in total depression. I was unmarried  (and still I am), so I had nothing to lose. So I dared again to look into that "darkness" i.e origin of Universe, life etc. People thought that I suddenly towards physics or science. No, it was my attempt to figure out what exactly had resulted in mind - body disconnection shock. I knew that scientists don't get power to change constitutions of countries and most of them don't even get money and certainly scientists don't become famous like filmstars. So all the elements which I had wanted were absconding in this field.  My aim was just to figure out what exactly had resulted in that mind - body disconnection shock.  As no word exist in dictionary,  I have to say that I am working on physics or science theory...

So at the age of 19, when that  BIG-BANG like feeling was still vibrating my mind, I started thinking something which from POV of every person is completely insane or even beyond insanity. POWER - Only Power can bring change on this earth which can create perfectly happy and ordered society.  But what can a 19 year old poor village boy do to gain complete command over all the militaries on earth?  Finally I thought that after becoming IAS I will be inside power corridor of India. After understanding power mechanism, I might be able to think how to gain confidence of Army Chiefs. I was thinking something like this even after joining LIC. That is why I again started preparing for IAS. If I had failed in IAS,  I would have persuade same thing in Mumbai through some different way. So I used to avoid people because of two things - (1) that mind - body disconnection and BIG-BANG like vibrating mind  (2) who knows,  if I had talked too much I might have revealed my mind to someone and it ...

Though I had stopped thinking about Universe - to which you call Science - because of Mind -Body disconnection shock, still I couldn't stop thinking about state of mankind on this earth. Glimpses of Word History - somehow I reached to the conclusion that all the religions are dead.  Instead of  helping each other for progress of human civilisation and understanding this Universe,  all religious people hate each other,  completely ignore needy people and helpless beggars. All the prayer places of God - Mandirs, Masjids, Churches, Gurdwaras etc have become religious tourism places. Billions of rupees are spent to build these prayer places which goes to already rich people like builders, architectures etc. These prayer places are totally useless for humanity - essence of mankind. There are millions and millions of poor,  hungry, needy people worldwide,  but neither religious people nor governments  (elected by same religious people) pay attention to these poor and needy people. Also m...

Now this is something about me not a single human being knows. Not a single word I ever talked to anyone no matter how close that person was to me.  Because such attitude is appropriate for Emperors, certainly not for a 18 year old poor village boy. I had completely stopped thinking about Universe and God things because of that horrible mind - body disconnection thing. But "damage" to my mind was already done.  I could never concentrate on college study.  In TYBSc I failed twice. Somehow I passed TYBSC with just  42% but got job in LIC on basis of HSC. I  said  "damage" to my mind was already done. Because whatever ordinary people think as big things, those things had/have become petty things for me.  For example;  ordinary think IAS officers or President of some countries are VERY BIG things. But such jobs have become petty in my eyes. In current democratic world Presidents and Prime minister are slaves of people. Religions are dead long ago.  Absolute monarchy...